Off Topic

[lookoutforliam]

Hi All

Apologies in advance for talking about an off topic subject (and I hope you dont mind Edgy) but just hoping to spread some awareness and support. I know that there are a lot of Moms and Dads who read these threads.

I have noticed a lot of kids taking their lives recently, particularly high school students. I know this is a very difficult thing to discuss. Mental health is severely underdiscussed and underfunded. Please take the time to speak with your kiddos. If they don't want to speak with you, maybe there is someone you trust that they could turn to. It is not an easy time for kids to grow up. In addition to the normal high school expectations, we now live in such divisive times. Take the time. Be there for your kids and their friends. I am certain I am not telling you anything you do not already know. Just wanted to make a point to keep this at the forefront. There is hope. There is a future.

Thanks all.

 

[LakeCtyNewt]

Hi All

Apologies in advance for talking about an off topic subject (and I hope you dont mind Edgy) but just hoping to spread some awareness and support. I know that there are a lot of Moms and Dads who read these threads.

I have noticed a lot of kids taking their lives recently, particularly high school students. I know this is a very difficult thing to discuss. Mental health is severely underdiscussed and underfunded. Please take the time to speak with your kiddos. If they don't want to speak with you, maybe there is someone you trust that they could turn to. It is not an easy time for kids to grow up. In addition to the normal high school expectations, we now live in such divisive times. Take the time. Be there for your kids and their friends. I am certain I am not telling you anything you do not already know. Just wanted to make a point to keep this at the forefront. There is hope. There is a future.

Thanks all.

Couldn’t agree more. A favorite line I have heard and will continue to use over and over is it’s ok to not be ok

 

[TigerforFlyers]

Hi All

Apologies in advance for talking about an off topic subject (and I hope you dont mind Edgy) but just hoping to spread some awareness and support. I know that there are a lot of Moms and Dads who read these threads.

I have noticed a lot of kids taking their lives recently, particularly high school students. I know this is a very difficult thing to discuss. Mental health is severely underdiscussed and underfunded. Please take the time to speak with your kiddos. If they don't want to speak with you, maybe there is someone you trust that they could turn to. It is not an easy time for kids to grow up. In addition to the normal high school expectations, we now live in such divisive times. Take the time. Be there for your kids and their friends. I am certain I am not telling you anything you do not already know. Just wanted to make a point to keep this at the forefront. There is hope. There is a future.

Thanks all.

Great post.

I will also add that if you are a parent that has an A-hole kid who hangs out with other A-hole kids that bully other kids, (If you are not an A-hole yourself), do everything you can to eradicate that behavior from your child and their friends.

My son, a larger kid, a straight A student, and who is usually otherwise beyond caring of others, came home with a school bus violation for mildly harming another kid. After investigating the matter, I discovered that he was coerced into doing it. I took swift and severe action towards it up to having my son openly apologize to the other kid and extend his friendship towards him. My disciplining him hurt me because he really is a kind-hearted kid who truly had a weak moment, but I could not just sit by not knowing the effects that his actions may have had on the other kid. It’s the right and basic thing to do.

 

[Gene K.]

Great post.

I will also add that if you are a parent that has an A-hole kid who hangs out with other A-hole kids that bully other kids, (If you are not an A-hole yourself), do everything you can to eradicate that behavior from your child and their friends.

My son, a larger kid, a straight A student, and who is usually otherwise beyond caring of others, came home with a school bus violation for mildly harming another kid. After investigating the matter, I discovered that he was coerced into doing it. I took swift and severe action towards it up to having my son openly apologize to the other kid and extend his friendship towards him. My disciplining him hurt me because he really is a kind-hearted kid who truly had a weak moment, but I could not just sit by not knowing the effects that his actions may have had on the other kid. It’s the right and basic thing to do.

Your a good father and great example for your son. More parents should be this way.

 

[ClownBaby]

Your a good father and great example for your son. More parents should be this way.

More should just be involved, I see way to many people trying to pawn off anything involving their kids on others.

 

[TigerforFlyers]

Your a good father and great example for your son. More parents should be this way.

Thanks, Gene, as I’m sure you are also. It’s the little things that make up the big things. We should all make every effort to care for our fellow man.

 

[LPCoachDB]

More should just be involved, I see way to many people trying to pawn off anything involving their kids on others.

Agreed. Back when I was teaching, we often said that too many kids live with two adults and no parents. Since adolescence is such a difficult time for many, parents need to double down on being involved in the lives of their offspring.

 

[crusader_of_90]

Someone told me this when my kids were young" You are not raising kids, the end product must be an adult.

I always kept this in mind and I share this with new parents all of the time.

 

[NapervilleBuck]

Unfortunately, another member of the Neuqua junior class decided Wednesday evening that there was too much darkness in his life to continue on. My daughter knew him and it has hit her fairly hard (obviously). That is 2 such incidents in the last month or so.

 

[WIU78]

Unfortunately, another member of the Neuqua junior class decided Wednesday evening that there was too much darkness in his life to continue on. My daughter knew him and it has hit her fairly hard (obviously). That is 2 such incidents in the last month or so.

I live this every day in the HS setting dealing with anxiety for these young adults moving thru social development. It would appear to the outside world that the “together” kids have it all. That could not be further from the truth. Trust me that the overachievers, exceptional students need more love and nurturing than the “average” student. Expectations of us..adults..needs to be tempered. Just because YOU want excellence remember it is a highly competitive world out there…and scary for these students. My advice…love your kids Every day. Be aware and for God’s sake let them talk out their dreams and not yours when you are lucky enough to have conversations. I don’t care how you dealt with issues in the olde days, this instant gratification age is tough. Love them no matter the outcome and seek professional help if anyone, including you need it. Prayers my friends for all going through this pain.

 

[lookoutforliam]

I live this every day in the HS setting dealing with anxiety for these young adults moving thru social development. It would appear to the outside world that the “together” kids have it all. That could not be further from the truth. Trust me that the overachievers, exceptional students need more love and nurturing than the “average” student. Expectations of us..adults..needs to be tempered. Just because YOU want excellence remember it is a highly competitive world out there…and scary for these students. My advice…love your kids Every day. Be aware and for God’s sake let them talk out their dreams and not yours when you are lucky enough to have conversations. I don’t care how you dealt with issues in the olde days, this instant gratification age is tough. Love them no matter the outcome and seek professional help if anyone, including you need it. Prayers my friends for all going through this pain.

Well said. Thank you.

 

[35Blackhawk42Spartan]

I recall having a college teammate who committed suicide. He was the same as WIU mentioned. Had it all together, or at least seemingly. Great player, great friend, smart, funny and could have had a very successful life. I recall being at the service, angry as a 21 year old wondering why of all the people in line-200+, they couldn't have just reached out to one of us. Time and perspective has taught me the flaw in that thinking. It is not on people to reach out when they are struggling. It is on those of us who are connected to remain connected and check in and see how people are doing. For example; it's basketball tryout season, reach out to kids to make sure they know you care and encourage them if if they didnt make the team. When that door closes, another can open. Learn the life lesson from it. Everyone should BE someone FOR someone-

As the holidays begin to creep closer, I imagine this will apply as much to fellow parents as it does kids. It has been a rough year for so many.

Very important thread, glad it was started.

 

[Formicidae13]

I pray for all of the families that have lost children in recent weeks, I can’t imagine what they are going through.

As one of the least removed from their high school days on here(still in college), I’d like to add some advice from the kid side of things.

Pretty much every type of student there is, I saw struggle with mental health. That ranges from students who struggled to pass classes to valedictorians in multiple extracurriculars. No matter how successful your son/daughter may seem, they almost certainly will have hard times at some point. And it can be something as seemingly minor to someone else like their 95 in math dropping to a 94 that can suddenly make things tough for them. The seasons changing is also a common factor, as minute as that may seem to some.

There really is no magical solution for a parent that is going to avoid your kid from struggling, but here is some of my advice.
1. Ask your kid how they are doing often and let them know that they you are always there for them if they ever aren’t ok. I know it’s not the most comfortable thing to talk about for you(or your kid), but it matters. Even if they always respond with “I’m ok”, it makes a difference to them, I promise you that.
2. Remind your kid how great they are every once in awhile. You don’t need to write a letter(although if that’s easier for you, go for it), but the occasional “I’m so proud to have a kid like you that is X and Y” will mean a lot to them and their self-esteem.
3. Tell them you love them everyday, you never know when they need to hear it most.

 

[corey90]

Cherish your kids everyday and talk to them. You can’t talk to them enough. I know the pain of losing a child first hand. Believe me you don’t know the pain. I have a hole in my heart that will never go away. Talk to your kids talk to your friends kids be there for them especially during their high school or college years. This is the time when they are most vulnerable. I feel for the families going through this most difficult time. You can’t imagine the grief unless it’s happened to your family. Spread the word you have an opportunity that may save a kid and not even know it. I will say a prayer for these families.

 

[lookoutforliam]

I pray for all of the families that have lost children in recent weeks, I can’t imagine what they are going through.

As one of the least removed from their high school days on here(still in college), I’d like to add some advice from the kid side of things.

Pretty much every type of student there is, I saw struggle with mental health. That ranges from students who struggled to pass classes to valedictorians in multiple extracurriculars. No matter how successful your son/daughter may seem, they almost certainly will have hard times at some point. And it can be something as seemingly minor to someone else like their 95 in math dropping to a 94 that can suddenly make things tough for them. The seasons changing is also a common factor, as minute as that may seem to some.

There really is no magical solution for a parent that is going to avoid your kid from struggling, but here is some of my advice.
1. Ask your kid how they are doing often and let them know that they you are always there for them if they ever aren’t ok. I know it’s not the most comfortable thing to talk about for you(or your kid), but it matters. Even if they always respond with “I’m ok”, it makes a difference to them, I promise you that.
2. Remind your kid how great they are every once in awhile. You don’t need to write a letter(although if that’s easier for you, go for it), but the occasional “I’m so proud to have a kid like you that is X and Y” will mean a lot to them and their self-esteem.
3. Tell them you love them everyday, you never know when they need to hear it most.

Awesome perspective and great advice. Thank you for sharing.

 

[lookoutforliam]

Cherish your kids everyday and talk to them. You can’t talk to them enough. I know the pain of losing a child first hand. Believe me you don’t know the pain. I have a hole in my heart that will never go away. Talk to your kids talk to your friends kids be there for them especially during their high school or college years. This is the time when they are most vulnerable. I feel for the families going through this most difficult time. You can’t imagine the grief unless it’s happened to your family. Spread the word you have an opportunity that may save a kid and not even know it. I will say a prayer for these families.

Sending love your way Corey. I’m sorry for your loss.

 

[corey90]

Sending love your way Corey. I’m sorry for your loss.

Thanks Lookout
I left Edgy for awhile and when I came back I never talked about it. Their is no magical cure. I want to thank you for bringing this to the site and spreading the word. If it saves just one kid it’s worth it. We have a lot of good people here on Edgy spread the word. Talk to your kids often, it means more to them than you may ever know.

 

[forlouann]

Cherish your kids everyday and talk to them. You can’t talk to them enough. I know the pain of losing a child first hand. Believe me you don’t know the pain. I have a hole in my heart that will never go away. Talk to your kids talk to your friends kids be there for them especially during their high school or college years. This is the time when they are most vulnerable. I feel for the families going through this most difficult time. You can’t imagine the grief unless it’s happened to your family. Spread the word you have an opportunity that may save a kid and not even know it. I will say a prayer for these families.

Corey. I had no clue. Please accept my condolences

 

[corey90]

Corey. I had no clue. Please accept my condolences

Thanks forlouann
It’s not something that I can easily talk about. This topic made me think about how much we parents need to cherish our kids.

 

[SouthofI80FootballFan]

This is happening way too much and not only in our area. It has become more of an issue across the United States. There are several factors at play; pandemic, social media, etc.

First and foremost, always take the time to talk to kids. Whether they are your own, your students, or your athletes. It is also important to mention that in terms of athletes that these kids remember that they are in fact playing a game. It is easy for adults to put too much pressure on these kids to be perfect and maintain perfection at all times and sometimes it is not for the good of the child but for ourselves. Some kids have the ability to handle the pressure with ease while others are not able to deal with the possibility of failure.

As I said, always take the time to talk to kids beyond the role that you have in their life. As a parent, have deep conversations and allow your child to trust you to take the time and listen to their perspective, even if you don't agree. As a teacher, go beyond just being a teacher, take the time to get to know the student beyond their ability within the classroom. As a coach, show the athlete that you care about them beyond their stats and be genuine in your interactions. If you break a kid down be sure to build them back up almost immediately. We all want to win but that is not always the most important part adults play in children's lives.

 

[crusader_of_90]

Cherish your kids everyday and talk to them. You can’t talk to them enough. I know the pain of losing a child first hand. Believe me you don’t know the pain. I have a hole in my heart that will never go away. Talk to your kids talk to your friends kids be there for them especially during their high school or college years. This is the time when they are most vulnerable. I feel for the families going through this most difficult time. You can’t imagine the grief unless it’s happened to your family. Spread the word you have an opportunity that may save a kid and not even know it. I will say a prayer for these families.

The greatest sorrow I can imagine. I am so saddened to hear this, Corey.

 

[Blue Ruin]

One thing to be aware of is that suicide is contagious. If one occurs in your community, be on the alert for clusters of copycat suicides. It also has a strong genetic component, so it tends to run in families, passed on from one generation to another. Hemingway's father took his own life, then the writer ate a shotgun, and then his granddaughter killed herself..

 

[corey90]

The greatest sorrow I can imagine. I am so saddened to hear this, Corey.

My story was a little different but my point is losing a child is a pain that will never go away for a parent. Cherish each day you have with your kids.

 

[LakeCtyNewt]

My story was a little different but my point is losing a child is a pain that will never go away for a parent. Cherish each day you have with your kids.

Corey I’m speechless. I can’t even fathom that level of pain. I cherish every last second with my kids. They are my life. I’ve learned a lot lately within my own family about how it can all be gone in a second. You show unbelievable strength.